Breaking up with The Devil

By J Bulsara — Sep 11, 2024

We are doing a lot of excavation around here, trying to improve my tarot reading skills and make me ever so much more sensitive to the energies involved, deepening my relationship to all the cards and what they truly stand for, and shedding old associations that hold me back from being the most in-tune channel I can be.

One area where I'm really struggling is with Major Arcana 15, The Devil. Yep. And not for the reasons you might expect! I do not fear the card, never really have, but my primary problem with it is that I developed an unhealthy attachment to it, and I did that because I associated it with a person in my life, where the same complicated and unhealthy attachment existed as part of our friendship. This was due to the person's full, unabashed self-identification with The Devil card, what with them being a Capricorn and a general shadow witchy type.

Well, immediately, in the way these things go, The Devil could do no wrong and could not be a "scary" card, because it was so conflated with this person. I cared about them immensely and so too I cared about The Devil. They and The Devil were one. Immediately it became a symbol of luck and freedom and passions fulfilled; and I was hearing no criticism of this Major Arcana. You couldn't say anything negative about this card or I would have turned up my nose at your analysis or stopped reading your book. I allowed my personal feelings to interfere with my interpretation of the card. Only this card, but I rather feel that even one is too many.

There he is, all right.

I no longer have those feelings for this person, and so what Aphrodite has made clear to me is that I have to shed the wrong attachments and associations I have around this card, that I need to bend and shape and coax my understanding toward a new direction. It causes a constant feedback loop, you see. I see the card, I think of the person, the feelings start to rekindle. I talk to them, they make me think of the card, I am strangely soft and subordinate to the energies of the card.

This no longer serves me! It must go the way all such things go: into the outer void where it can safely sizzle and finally dissipate, and I can build a healthier, more balanced relationship with The Devil. This involves the creation of boundaries, which is a function of self-love. This card is not a person, this card is an archetype. I must sever the link between them. I almost begin to believe I should do a formal cord cutting ritual! 😅

I am working on a lovely, thick, rich, deep tarot course, one of those things you can do at your own pace (the weekly meetups have long since ended and life stepped in). And this week we tackled The Devil and all of its associations and meanings to us. Beloveds, I had so much to write, it was ridiculous. But it finally helped me to see that my whole Devil paradigm has been a problem for a long while.

This tarot study defines The Devil from an entirely different perspective, as a liberator from harmful cycles and painful things we have endured, a liberator from shame that so shackles us and keeps us contorted into painful shapes. The Devil is about the choices we have to make and the freedom to make them. The Devil is about accessing our high wildness, and taking heart at what grows there, drawing strength from it. When I think of The Devil in these terms, it feels more correct. More aligned. And far more healthy.

Freedom from old paradigms!

I am ready to reconnect to the wilderness within me, and for me it is always a vast and hilly field of wildflowers, with all different shapes and scents and hues. There are high grasses, there are no trees. You don't wear shoes here. You wear long gauzy things that pass through the flowers without disturbing them overmuch. Your feet touch the good earth, your toes can't resist digging in. You think warm and affectionate thoughts and your heart beats and the wind flows through your hair and your garments, and everything is all right, for a time. Everything is all right.

This, coupled with cleansing and purifying my altar to Aphrodite made me feel spiritually clean in a way I haven't for quite some time now. It was much needed devotional time spent well, and the revelations about The Devil came after everything was set back in place again, with fresh offerings and candles.

Aphrodite was very serious about this realignment, insisting that I work through all the requisite feelings as quickly as possible. But I have not had any problems shifting my understanding of the card; The Devil is no longer my lover or my patron. I have Aphrodite for that. And She is very interested in the subject of shame and letting it go, because I carry a great deal of shame and have always struggled with letting it go. So let's see what the tarot has to tell us this week about shame:

The Tethered One from the Golden Art Nouveau Tarot deck.

This is Aphrodite's message to you: have you ever spent time thinking about why you should ever feel ashamed of yourself? There is nothing about you that is intrinsically shameful. You should feel no shame about anything. Meditate on this for awhile, let it lead your heart to a place of pause and rest.

And here in this cocoon let the thought linger. Shame, and what it does to you. Shame, and how it shapes you. Shame, and how it prunes you against your will. Shame, and how to ultimately release it so that it never troubles us again. Much, much easier said than done, but this is a necessary task, we are invited to shrug, shrug, shrug our shoulders and shed the old skin that was beholden to shame. Like the chrysalis we will soon depart from, so too will we leave behind shame.

There is no use for it in your journey, there is no time for it any more, it's almost like an indulgence we just can't afford at this point in time, for we have to be ready and we have to be prepared and we have to be able to react fast without panicking, we have to be beyond shame. We evolve when we release shame but the releasing is a whole long process because shame was laid upon us in layers and layers and layers all our lives, even our tiny tiny child shoulders bore the weight of shame, so take this moment and exist with your shame for awhile. Know that you have held it for far too long, now. Examine it from all angles, take notes if you want to, what does it look like, is it galactic in nature, or is it like a noxious growth? Is it something you can manage, or can you prune it down through small changes here and there? How can you get the upper hand such that shame no longer has any effect on you?

Take care in this time, be cautious, step with considerable choice when considering where to put your feet, know that it's okay to take as long as necessary. The Tethered One cradles us, holds us suspended in perfect balance with all our other body parts. It is an expert tie, comfortable and soothing. Now rest here for awhile and work on releasing your shame.

With Love,