So yes, in desperation for fun and for distractions from the issues mentioned last week, I indulged in a video game purchase for the Switch - I got The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom.

And it's working.

It's amazing how much my little self is chomping at the bit to play this game. When I was little, and the only Zelda game available was the original Legend of Zelda for the NES, I became obsessed with Zelda's kidnapping and thus put up missing posters for her all around the neighborhood. In crayon, of course, I'm like 8 or 9 in this scenario! But that's how deeply involved with games I can get, the story, the characters, these things matter to me as more than just entertainment.

When I played like I was Zelda, I was totally my own hero because I had to be, making pacts with the dungeon bosses so they would not do bad things. I remember a very serious sit-down conversation with Gohma, lmao! And I often wished that I could play as her in the games I had, which at the time were the original, and Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. But it was not possible, you could not be Zelda, you could only be Link. (Which was, in its own way, interesting in that I find Link to be a very androgynous and nonbinary-presenting person, a he/they hero for the ages.)

Well now, they finally did it. In Echoes of Wisdom, I can gloriously play as Zelda!

And so my little self is just goggle-eyed and full of joy. I have - temporarily - paused most of my free tarot activities so that I have the time to devote to playing this delightful game, discovering all its secrets, and it's just so damned cute and so painfully me-coded that I'm sloughing off stress and spiritual soreness, just like I need. It's amazing how much this silly little game is helping me.

But let us not diminish it like that, because if something helps a person through some difficult things, it's not so silly, is it? No. So I might not be as active on socials for this period of time as I refill a cup that is bone dead dry. I do not know about other professional tarot readers, but I cannot read nor really communicate at all with my cards when my cup is so dry. Depleted is the word.

So Echoes of Wisdom is at its core a very innovative puzzle game. You make combinations of Echoes (copies) of objects and enemies to solve them, everything from a basic old bed and pots to terrifying ReDeads and even our pal the Octorok for your ranged damage! There are endless combinations and ways to solve things, which helps my poor old brain cope with the more complex puzzles. And I'm getting back some of my old gamer reflexes too.

You can even ride a horse in this game!

Okay, enough game shots! I just really want you to know that this game is making me so fucking happy, and I look forward to playing it every day after I'm done with my necessary tasks and work. If you were ever waiting for a reason to get this game, take this as your sign! It's great!

During this time, I have been in constant silent communication and connection with Aphrodite, who thrills to know I am having fun for once. That's all She wants of us - to enjoy ourselves for our brief stints here on planet Earth. To find deep meaning in pleasure, to be healed by the fulfillment of our desires. These things are vastly important to Her, and should be to us. So I asked her, how can passion bring us happier lives when we're scrambling, for whatever reason?

This is Aphrodite's message for us:

*The Tethered One is what Lindsay Mack, one of my mentors, calls this card, and it is a name that I prefer over its usual name.

So we are to pause, She says, and reflect. Reflect on all the things we want and the things we need and the holes in our spiritual system that need to be filled and the nubs that need to be gently sanded down. It is time to be still. We are invited to learn to be still in the swirl of events that surround us. Close our eyes and find that moment of stillness, of quiet, of peace, of pause.

Reflect on your desires. What are they, how do they make you feel when you think of them? Nervous, excited, terrified, aroused? Maybe all of them? Desire is enormous, desire pulses in even the seemingly abstemious, for things other than bodily wants and needs like food or sex or drink or drugs. List them out and maybe prioritize them based on the one you want the most. Claim it. Clean the patch of floor in front of you, then move onto the next patch. Catalogue and nourish your desires as you take this deep moment to yourself.

And what of passion, how can passion help us in these moments of struggle? Aphrodite says to focus on those passions, just like changing your target in a video game. Hit that LR button and focus on the passions that please you, or be adventurous and look for something new to be passionate about, a new trinket or hobby or job or person or cause or book or poem or pet. There are so many worthy things we can think of when we allow ourselves this time to pause.

When we put our eyes on our passions instead of our problems, we are not ignoring reality, we are just shifting our gaze to something that is pleasant while we have to sit within uncomfortable positions and places. Pursuing that which we desire is a fine activity to take our minds off the alternative. More, most trauma takes time to be fully integrated into the brain, untangled so that it can be neatly filed away and not exist as a trap that will pop up and trip us in future. We cannot progress without slowing down to rest.

Back in 1992, I rode out Hurricane Andrew, a Category 5 storm that ravaged Miami, Florida, and as you can imagine it was a very stressful and traumatic time. One of the things that sticks out the most is my father's advice then. We were frazzled. But he calmed me by saying that in rough times, it's okay to turn to certain vices. Not only to self-soothe, but to take your mind off the greater bad, and feel a little better amidst the devastation. For him, that was vodka. For me, that was the music of Queen. (Now it would be spree-shopping, but I cannot do that anymore.)

And I'm here to tell you as a fourth generation survivor of sexual assault and other assorted horrors, it's okay to do the thing when you feel bad. It doesn't mean you are bad, it doesn't mean you are weak, it doesn't mean you have irredeemable thoughts and actions, it just means that you are human. And you are allowed to make use of the fruits of society - whatever they may be for you - to get through the events that society often makes worse, just by virtue of being society. This is wisdom reinforced by Aphrodite's teachings, namely that we can indulge in pleasures to make the worst parts of life a little more tolerable.

And in our great pauses, I hope that you, too, find something to bring you pleasure and comfort, whether you are feeling good or bad or in between. As for me, I am still not okay and still very bewildered and sad (and angry), but I'll be all right. Eventually.

See you in Hyrule,

J, for Aphrodite